Natasha was adopted at 3.5 years from a Ukrainian orphanage. She came home with Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
A condition in which victims of overwhelming and uncontrollable experiences are subsequently psychologically affected by feelings of intense fear, loss of safety…
Before I adopted my daughter I spent a lot of time reading about attachment. And I came up with a plan for promoting attachment and disciplining.
And then I met my darling daughter… And I had to modify my parenting plan.
She came home developmentally delayed in all areas and with crossed eyes. She did not know how to chew food (mostly ate soup) and horded food. She was a very strong willed child. She could focus on something for about 60 seconds max. She had to touch and explore everything.
She was legally 3.5 years old. But developmentally she was somewhere between 18 months and 2.5 years old.
Natasha displayed few emotions other then anger. She was hypervigilance. She over reacted to noises. She once cried to the point of throwing up when she accidentally dropped a glass. Another time she spilled water and her eyes glazed over with panic. She shivered, shook and cried.
It is clear to me now, that this was a flashback.
Sleep was difficult to impossible because she was constantly in an alert state. She didn’t sleep, she passed out against her will.
During Natasha’s first year home I hired a children’s psychiatrist to be my coach. I only had 5 appointments with her. And Natasha had a couple of appointments too. The psychiatrist wasn’t an “attachment” therapist. She specialized in providing therapy for foster children. I needed someone to discuss Natasha’s behavior. I needed someone to discuss creative parenting strategies.
Now remember I did all my adoption education work in 1998 and 1999. And I adopted in 2000. I don’t remember reading anything about PTSD in children.
This psychiatrist never diagnosed Natasha with PTSD.
I don’t claim to be a medical professional. But I had a light bulb moment. After being home for 1 year, Natasha was calmer and firmly attached. And she no longer displayed PTSD symptoms .
The blessed absence of the symptoms made it very clear. I had lived with PTSD.
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The image at the top is Natasha’s first attempt to paint a strawberry with water colors. I thought it looked like a green haired monster. Natasha agreed and gave me permission to use the painting. The image is copyrighted by natasha.energy@gmail.com.