Image may be NSFW.
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I love FRUA. They are an Eastern European adoption support group. And they have a “chat board” that is typically a source of interesting information. You have to take it with a grain of salt. While folks do have to register to use FRUA’s board, anonymous postings are common.
Right now the Admin for FRUA’s board is stressed out. He is experiencing some technical challenges as the picture shows. I like his usage of the large bold font. Image may be NSFW.
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This started me thinking about stress caused by the adoption process. I don’t know a single adoptive family who says that adopting is easy. There is plenty of stress.
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And Ukrainian adoption can be VERY stressful with the ups and downs. Even when I adopted in 2000, it was consistently inconsistent.
Everyone’s adoption story is so very different. I remember getting freaked out before my adoption trip. A woman posted on the Adoption_from_Ukraine email list that she came home without a child.
WITHOUT A CHILD!! I didn’t even know that was possible. I could travel to Ukraine and return home without a child.
How? Why? WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!
I explained how/why families return from Ukraine without children in this blog.
I emailed my facilitator after reading this email. I wasn’t very polite.. rather I was scared and rude.
And I talked to my family and friends. But these people didn’t care about the ins-and-outs of getting something correctly notarized… with the commission expiration date far in the future. How could they understand my stress? My fears?
Based on my experience, here are my tips for dealing with adoption caused stress.
- Never send an email or call anyone in anger. Wait until you have calmed down. If you attack your faciliator/adoption agency they aren’t going to be very friendly toward you.
- Consider Paxil…. I reached a point where I was biting everyone’s head off. I over reacted to everything. So I went to visit my doctor. My issue was situational depression and Paxil greatly helped me chill out.
- Exercising really does help.
- Just because one person said it, doesn’t make it true. And some people lie. So try to relax and see what consensus develops. The Ukrainian adoption community is very good at presenting a rounded picture of events… eventually.
- Rumors.. this goes with the one above. Ukrainian adoption is fueled by rumors. And some are true. Try to have a thick skin about it.
- Join email lists or more email lists for support. It helps being able to share information and common experiences (like chasing paper).
- Join a support group like FRUA
