You probably wouldn’t guess just by looking at this picture….. You are looking at the strongest willed person on the planet. This is Natasha at 3.5 years of age. She was black – hole – sucking – everything – in – and – not – letting – light – out strong willed.
She came home developmentally delayed in all ways; emotionally, gross motor skills, language. She was a walking talking puzzle of different developmental ages.
But one thing that she was absolutely clear on. She was the boss. She ran things.
At first when she got angry at me, she would show a calm… dead face to me. And then 5 minutes later I would catch her kicking the dog. Anger ran downhill for her.
Before I traveled to Ukraine, I read books like Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft.
And I read parenting books like Parenting With Love and Logic and Attachment Parenting.
I found all of them useful.
Once I realized just how titanium stubborn she was… I decided to let her make every little decision in her life. This kept her so busy. She didn’t have time to worry about me making the BIG decisions.
After Natasha had been home for 6 months, I had her language skills evaluated. I was encouraged to talk to Natasha frequently.
So I started breaking down tasks and giving her decisions like:
Natasha, white or yellow socks?
Natasha, left foot or right foot first?
Natasha, tie on shoes or Velcro shoes?
Natasha, left foot or right foot first?
Natasha, shoes on, shoes on. Time to brush hair. You brush? Mama brush?
I had to use her name or touch her shoulder to get her attention. This was her undiagnosed Sensory integration disorder. Natasha was home for 1 year before it was diagnosed.
After 18 months of me breaking down all tasks and giving Natasha choices. She finally said the magic words.
Mama you pick.
She finally trusted me. Or I just wore her down with the weight of all the decisions.
Either way, I was soooooooooo I happy that I jumped for joy.
And yes by this point, she understood that I was the boss of the family. It was our job to look after each other.